Chase The Hurt
by louise-83
Summary: Lexie told Mark to leave her alone so he moved on. But, when faced with the worst thing that's ever happened to her, does she need him now more than ever?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

He watched her appreciatively from the bed as she dashed around the bedroom, a flurry of long legs and golden flowing locks, but only half listened as she babbled about what still needed to be done for the wedding. It wasn't that he wasn't interested. He was. He just wasn't sure that he was as interested as he should be. He told himself that it was normal. That there wasn't a man in America who really cared about seating plans or whether the wedding favours were sugared almonds or heart shaped chocolates. And he guessed that he was probably right. But as the day of the wedding drew closer and closer he was finding it extremely difficult to ignore the nagging feeling inside of him that was telling him that maybe his lack of interest in the wedding day was a reflection of how he really felt about his impending marriage.

She turned her back to him and faced the mirror, lifting her long blonde curls and expertly arranging them into a loose chignon that was suitable for work. He concentrated on the soft curve at the nape of her neck, where a stray wisp of golden hair rested, in an attempt to distract himself from any doubts. Slowly he let his gaze travel down her toned physique, his lips curving into a tiny smile as he did so. There was no denying that she was beautiful, anyone who said otherwise was just jealous. She was stunning and smart and since they'd met eight months ago, in the locker room on her first day at Seattle Grace Mercy West, she had made him happy.

She made him laugh and she always knew how to cheer him up after a harrowing shift. She listened when he talked and she was great with Sofia. But most of all she was there. Now when he said goodbye to his daughter and left her with her Moms he didn't cross the hall to his empty and lonely apartment. He no longer spent the nights mindlessly channel surfing or drowning his sorrows in whiskey to distract himself from the fact that everyone else had someone. Callie had Arizona, Derek had Meredith, Teddy had Henry. Hell he'd even heard rumours that Stark was hooking up with Kepner.

He wasn't alone anymore. He wasn't wallowing in self pity and he came home at night to someone who genuinely wanted to be with him. Someone who said he made her happy. That was all he'd ever wanted to do with Lexie. To make her happy. But whatever she needed to be happy it wasn't him. He'd accepted that now. He'd let her walk away and promised to leave her alone. But that didn't mean that doing so didn't kill him just a tiny bit more every single day.

She barely looked his way these days. She would talk to him if work required it or nod a civil hello when they inevitably attended the same social events but that was the total extent of their interaction. He kept true to his promise most days, only engaging her in conversation if it was a medical matter and staying out of her way otherwise. But sometimes he would still watch her. He'd given her his word that he would no longer do that, and normally he was a man who would stay true to his word, but there were times when he just couldn't help it.

It was the little things that got to him the most. The way she absentmindedly twirled her hair around her index finger when she was thinking something through or the sweet sound of her laugh as she playfully joked around with the other residents. She still took his breath away. He would always look at her and know that she was the one. She was the one who he would always be hopelessly in love with and there would never be a day when his heart wouldn't ache through missing her. So he tried to keep his promise. He tried not to look and most days he would manage his. So that the pain would be a dull throbbing rather than sharp and searing. But she was his addiction and there were days when he just couldn't overcome his need for a fix. Even a minute one. So he would steal the briefest of glances and pray that she wouldn't catch him. Because if she ever caught him then he would have to stop. And he was never happier than when he was watching her.

"Mark? Are you even listening to me?" his fiancee asked, now fully dressed and staring at him in annoyance.

"Of course, I always listen" he lied, pushing all thoughts of Lexie to the back of his mind but knowing that they would weave their way to the front numerous times that day.

"Then what was I saying?" she challenged knowingly as she pushed her hospital id card into her Mulberry Alexa.

" Sugared almonds!" he proclaimed hoping she hadn't veered far from what the topic of her rambling had been when he had been half listening instead of not listening at all.\

"I definitely think that we should go with the sugared almonds"

"Really?" she looked sceptical.

"Or chocolate hearts are good too! Whatever you want babe, I just want you to be happy" he told her truthfully.

He did want her to be happy. He wanted to make her happy. He wanted to be enough to make someone happy. Even if she wasn't the person who made _him_ happiest.

"I think the hearts in silver foil with our initials embossed on them" she told him as he pulled her back on to the bed and kissed her softly.

"Sounds perfect" he told her not really caring at all as he unclipped her hair and let her golden curls tumble around her shoulders.

"Mark, I just did that" she mumbled only half protesting as he kissed slowly down her neck.

"So?" his lips kinked into a smirk against her tender skin.

"So I have to go to work"

"I'll be quick" he grinned, his hands wandering over her.

She groaned softly, giving in to his strong touch and kissing him back.

He smiled as he pulled her closer and expertly flipped them over so she was lying beneath him. Her work clothes would be creased and she was going to be late but neither of them cared.

He told her he loved her as she wrapped her slender legs around him and he meant every word. He loved her. He loved her more every day. But he would never be in love with her. It would never be that kind of all consuming, can't live without each other love that he used to think only existed in soppy chick flicks. But he'd had that before and it had gotten him nowhere. True love might exist in the real world but happy endings didn't. Not when the person you couldn't live without could live perfectly well without you.

He loved her and she loved him and he had finally realised that this would have to be enough.

Lexie hovered by the notice board with a black marker pen in her hand, hesitantly lifting it to write her name on the sign up sheet but not actually being able to make her hand move correctly to form the letters of her name. To anyone watching it probably seemed as though she'd forgotten how. As if she'd reverted to her four year old self and couldn't spell her own name. She almost expected her Dad to appear behind her and show her how to move the pen.

The only person watching knew exactly why she was struggling to commit herself to the event the sign up sheet was for anyway.

"It's going to be a good day" Callie told her as she appeared behind her looking more than a little surprised to see Lexie about to sign up.

"Are you going?"

"Erm...Kate asked me why I hadn't signed up. I'm the only person who hasn't. I don't want her to-"

"Work out the real reason why you don't want to go?" Callie interrupted knowingly as Lexie became flustered and felt burning heat rush up her neck and to her cheeks.

"I was going to say be offended. I don't want her to be offended" she answered quickly but the flush of her cheeks and the creak in her voice gave her away.

"Sure you were" Callie nodded not pushing it. It wasn't really her business she knew that.

"She's nice. We get on, there's no reason why I wouldn't go to her bachelorette party" Lexie justified it to herself as much as to Callie as she turned around and found the strength to write her name below April's on the long list of almost all the female staff in the department.

"She is nice" Callie agreed before adding "She makes Mark happy" and witnessing Lexie visibly tense as she knew she would.

She might pretend to the world that she was over Mark and that Jackson was the one for her but Callie knew otherwise. And sometimes she had an overwhelming urge to call her on it. To grab her and to shake her and make her realise what an idiot she was being. To make her realise that one day soon she was going to have pushed Mark so far away that he would never come back, no matter how much she wanted him to.

"He has everything he wanted" Lexie mumbled quietly.

"Are you sure about that?"

"He has Sofia and a beautiful fiancee who he is probably going to make lots more beautiful children with. He's happy" Lexie replied, the words hurting her more than she wanted to admit.

Mark already had a family with Callie and Arizona, albeit somewhat unconventional, and now he would have one with Kate too. He'd wanted a family so badly that he'd chosen it over her and now she didn't know if she would ever have one and that scared her.

She hadn't discussed her fear with anyone but it nagged away at her every time she saw Mark or Callie with Sofia or Meredith with Zola. She didn't want a baby. She hadn't wanted a baby when Mark had wanted a family more than he'd wanted her and she still didn't want one now. But not wanting one then or now didn't mean that she didn't want one ever. After Mark had gone to such lengths to get her back she had truly believed that he would wait for her. That he'd wait for her until she was ready to marry him and have a family. _Their _family. She'd never said that she didn't want that. Just that she didn't want it _yet_.

But he'd taken it all away from her. He'd gotten someone else pregnant. Sometimes she even wondered if he'd done it deliberately, he'd wanted a baby so bad. Another woman had his baby and that killed her. She knew they were separated at the time and that she had no right to be angry but he hadn't even thought about how she would feel. He was having a baby and moving on without her. Nothing would ever be the same. If she'd stayed with him and one day had a baby he would have done it all before. The scans, the kicking, the birth, first words, first steps. Nothing would be new to him. He'd taken away her chance to share that experience with him. To have their baby and for everything to be new and exciting. And the worst part was that he hadn't even stopped to think about things enough to realise how much that would hurt her.

She would never have expected him to turn his back on Sofia. She was his daughter and he was an amazing Dad. Anyone could see that. But she didn't want a baby in her life yet. Especially one who wasn't hers. So leaving had been her only option. She loved him but she couldn't be a stepmother to his baby. She wasn't ready for that. And she wasn't sure that she could ever be with someone who didn't even realise how he had hurt her. It wasn't sleeping with someone else that had done it. It was not knowing her well enough to realise why she was really upset and not even trying to talk to her about it.

He let her go.

He had let her go and now he was marrying someone else. And even though she'd told him to let her go, the fact that he really had hurt more than any of it.

"You know you only have to say the word and you could stop it all" Callie interrupted her thoughts and brought her back to reality.

"I..erm...I don't know what you mean" Lexie was blushing again.

"You know exactly what I mean Lexie"

"I'm with Jackson" she protested but she could see in Callie's eyes that she wasn't fooled.

Somehow she knew that Lexie wasn't really committed to her current relationship.

Sure Jackson was a good guy and he made her laugh and she was content. But she would never be in love with him and, unlike Mark, she didn't think she could ever settle for less.

She didn't want a family more than she wanted love. She wouldn't choose a family over love and she was pretty sure she'd lost love for good so she didn't think a family would be featuring in her future.

"Well, as long as you're sure" Callie told her and headed for the cafeteria leaving her staring at the sign up sheet.

She put the pen back in place and turned and walked away, smiling as she saw Jackson headed towards her.

She was sure she told herself over and over again.

She was sure.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: Please note this chapter contains scenes of a sensitive nature. It is not my intention to offend or upset any readers and I will do my best to ensure that the which this fic will deal with the events of this chapter is as sensitive as possible. **

**Chapter 2**

"We really should go home, we're practically the only people still here" She told him as she glanced around Joe's bar surveying the few people still cradling their drinks.

There was a lone drunk propped up at the bar, his slurred speech and bloodshot eyes giving away his inebriation, and the scattering of scruffy college boys making one game of pool last all night. The dregs of the only drinks they'd ordered that night rested in their now warm glasses on the edge of the grass green felt covered table as they bantered the night away.

Then there was the couple huddled together in a barely lit corner, barely able to keep their hands off of each other. They were either having an affair or newly married, she concluded. It was like her mother always told her, no couple who had been married more than a couple of years were ever all over each other like that. After the first couple of anniversaries it got boring and routine.

Adultery was their game of choice that night, she decided as she turned back to face him. The only reason they were still here was because they had no where else to go. If they were newly weds they'd be home having sex by now.

"They've only just called last orders" he protested, flashing his best puppy dog eyes on her which she was sure had got him exactly what he wanted from numerous women in the past.

"It's late and I've had a really stressful day Jackson" she objected, already having drank way more than was wise, but he was inching his empty glass across the table towards her, his plump lips aiming a pout in her direction.

"Then another drink will help you relax and anyway, you owe me for getting Yang off your back today!"

"Please don't mention Yang" she groaned at the mere mention of her colleague, who never followed her instructions and was always seeking to challenge her authority.

"I just don't understand her! She says she didn't want to be Chief Resident any way but she never does what I tell her to!"

"She knows it winds you up, that's why she does it!"

"Well, she's...mean!" She pouted unable to think of a more cutting retort after a very long shift and more than a few vodkas.

He laughed softly at her expression, the gesture lighting up his pretty features, his amusement shining in his big blue eyes.

"Don't laugh at me!" she slapped his hand weakly.

"Buy me another drink and we have a deal" he arched his eyebrows at her.

"It's late" she protested feebly knowing she would eventually give in.

"So? It's not like either of us have any reason to go home. Lexie's on the graveyard shift and you're -"

"Perpetually single" she interrupted before he could finish.

"Thanks so much for reminding me!"

He laughed mischievously and she poked him in the arm sharply.

"Now you owe me two drinks" he told her matter of factly.

She rolled her eyes and pulled her best unimpressed face at him.

Then stood up slowly with a sigh and made her way over to the bar.

* * *

><p>Lexie quickly scanned the shelves of the supply closet for what she was looking for, sighing loudly as everything seemed to be in the wrong place. She didn't doubt that someone had done it deliberately after April had given them all a pep talk on the importance of keeping it tidy. Cristina and Alex both seemed to delight in making April's life that little bit harder. Whether it was trying to tell her the best way to do her job, pointing out any tiny mistake she made to the entire department or messing up the supply closet. If they had the opportunity to annoy her they would take it. The problem was that she always rose to the bait. She always got flustered and annoyed with them and then made more mistakes and that just made them even worse.<p>

She rifled through a few boxes trying to locate the gauze she required with no success. Sighing in frustration she stood on her tip toes and reached into the boxes on the higher shelves, prodding at the contents she couldn't see to try and establish what was inside them by texture alone.

"A ha! Gotcha!" she announced in triumph as she felt the soft gauze brush the tips of her fingers. But as she flexed upwards to grab the amount she needed she pulled the entire cardboard box from the shelf causing what appeared to be endless rolls of gauze to tumble to the floor around her.

"It's raining gauze" she giggled to herself as a couple of rolls hit her square on the head and she tried to catch a few others. Instantly "It's Raining Men" filled her head and she hummed the tune happily as she gathered up the gauze and started stuffing it back into the box.

As she crouched down and reached for the stray rolls she heard footsteps behind her as the shadow of a male figure was cast on the floor in front of her, blocking the light from the doorway.

"I dropped gauze everywhere!" She explained with a smile as she turned expecting to see Alex having passed him in the hall only a few moments before.

But it wasn't Alex staring back at her with wide, dark eyes.

She felt like she should know him, the face gazing at her almost angrily, but she couldn't place him.

"Sorry, can I help you?" She asked rising to her full height hoping this would make her feel slightly more comfortable than when he was glaring back at her.

It didn't. He was taller than her and there was an unmistakeable anger in his eyes that was directed solely at her.

"You don't recognise me, do you Lexie?" he almost spat in disgust before lifting his right foot and kicking the door shut behind him before locking it with a quick flick of his wrist.

Instantly she backed away, her slender frame crashing into the shelves behind her so hard that they rattled for minutes afterwards.

"I...err..." she mumbled as she watched him move forwards and close the gap between them.

"Please open the door" she was almost begging as she tugged in panic on the neck of her light blue scrubs, trying to stop the feeling of suffocation that shot through her as he stopped so close to her that his warm breath tickled her smooth cheek.

There was an overwhelming stench of whiskey causing her to splutter as it consumed the air in the tiny closet around her. She could taste it, smoky and burning. The roof of her mouth was suddenly rough and dry like sandpaper.

This wasn't right. She didn't know who he was but he knew her. She scanned him quickly for anywhere he could be concealing a gun.

It was happening again.

That was all she could think, trapped in the cold and dark closet with this unidentified male.

It was happening again.

Only this time there was no screaming, no chaotic crowds scrambling for safety, no flurry of loud and blasting gunshots.

This time he would only need a single bullet.

She wondered where he would chose.

Maybe her head or her heart.

Either way her death would be almost instantaneous. She knew she wouldn't feel much pain, maybe a sharp stabbing as the bullet slammed into her but within a few seconds she would be gone.

Or maybe he would go for somewhere crueler and watch her bleed out, painstakingly slow and torturous.

"Please" she pleaded, her voice breaking.

She could no longer see him, her vision blurred so that all she saw was the silhouette of the man who had stormed the hospital with a gun and stolen lives almost two years ago.

"Please don't Mr Clarke"

He snapped like a frayed elastic.

"Guess again!" he demanded, fierce and furious, and suddenly she had her sight once more.

This wasn't Mr Clarke. He was younger, taller, broader and whilst Mr Clarke had been drawn to his actions by heartbreak the only thing she saw when she looked into this man's dark brown eyes that could almost be black was a venom of pure anger.

"I'm sorry" she told him in a desperate attempt to appease him and soothe the fear soaring through her.

He wanted to hurt her, she could see it, she could feel it.

And this time there was no one around to protect her, no strong arms to hold her close and guide her to safety.

This time she was completely alone.

"I should know you, I know that I should know you"

"I thought you liked me Lexie, I thought we had something special" he told her in a coarse whisper before lifting his hand to gently caress her cheek with his fingertips.

His hands were rough and she visibly winced as he touched her.

"I thought we had something special but it was just a game to you wasn't it Dr. Grey? You're just a god damn tease like all the rest of them!"

She tensed as he ran his hands slowly down her sides and turned her head to the right so she didn't have to look at him.

"Look at me Lexie" he ordered, his hands wandering to places they shouldn't.

She froze instantly, rooted to the spot with fear as he touched her.

"I'm not going to hurt you, I like you"

_I like you._

It was as simple as that.

3 little words and she knew exactly who he was.

Adam Hart.

He'd been a patient a good few months ago now and all he'd done was pester her for her number and tell her over and over that he liked her.

She hadn't returned his interest or provided him with the digits he was after.

"I thought we agreed that you'd call me" he told her, grabbing hold of her chin between his thumb and forefinger and yanking her head around so she had to look at him.

"I never said I'd call" she spluttered remembering his flippant request that she do so when he was discharged.

She'd laughed and not dignified the request with an actual response, she'd thought he was just teasing her, she never thought it would come to this.

"Well you never said that you wouldn't either!" he snarled in disgust.

"I'm your doctor, it's not professional, there are boundaries!" she tried to reason with him but she could see in his eyes that reason wasn't something he possessed.

"You're not my doctor anymore though are you?" he asked, a small smirk playing on his lips.

"And I've been watching you" He pulled her close against him, his grasp tightening as she struggled to get him off of her.

He was too strong, with one hand and a strategically placed knee he had her pinned against the wooden shelving.

"You're so beautiful Lexie, you deserve better than that pretty boy doctor you're always with or that old guy who watches you when he thinks you're not looking"

"Mark" she told him, hating hearing him referred to as "the old guy". He wasn't old, he was just older than she was.

"You're always looking though aren't you Lexie?" he continued as though she hadn't spoken.

"Because you're a tease and you like being watched, you like being so irresistible so men can't help but wan't you and then you never call!"

He was right in part. She knew Mark still watched her and yes, she liked it. Because she knew that there was at least part of him that still cared about her as much as she cared about him.

But there was no truth in any of his other words, she knew that. Yet still she felt a tinge of guilt inside, like somehow she should have done something differently, to make sure things didn't end up like this.

" I...I..." she didn't know what to say. She didn't know how to appease him or how to make him let her go.

"You're sorry, I know" he told her almost gently.

"It's okay Lexie, I forgive you. We can kiss and make up baby" he whispered before his lips were on hers, his tongue in her mouth.

She winced and tried with all her might to push him off. She raised both hands to his chest and put all her force behind it but he was too strong and she made barely no impact at all.

Panicking wildly as he kissed her forcefully she did the only thing she could think of and sunk her teeth into the soft flesh of his tongue, biting down hard.

"F**k!" he recoiled instantly but she knew she'd made a mistake as she saw pure rage flash through him.

"Oh so that's how you want this to go huh?" he snapped, pawing at her body and tearing her scrubs.

"No!" she both answered his question and protested at the same time.

But he was too strong and determined and she was scared and alone.

He clamped a hand heavily over mouth and she knew that no one would hear her scream.

No one would hear her scream because she was frozen in fear and had no scream to vocalise.

* * *

><p>"Sssssh!" April giggled as Jackson stumbled up to the front door singing at the top of his voice.<p>

"You'll wake everyone up!"

"And who is everyone exactly? Lexie and Alex are both at work!"

"Well then you'll wake the neighbours!"

"Screw the neighbours!"

"Jackson!" she giggled as she opened the door and pushed him inside before he could offend their neighbours anymore than he already had.

"Lets have another drink!" he announced going straight to the fridge and flinging open the door.

"The last thing you need is another drink" April tried to reason with him.

"And it's late"

"April, April, April" he almost sang.

"If we weren't meant to have a drink when it was late, there wouldn't be a light in the fridge now would there?"

She couldn't help but laugh at his logic.

"We have work tomorrow!" She tried another tactic but was unsuccessful as he pulled out two beers and popped the caps off with a bottle opener.

"You sound just like Lexie!" he moaned as he set one of the beers down in front of her and began to mimic his girlfriend's voice"

"Not tonight Jackson, we have work tomorrow Jackson, I've got a headache Jackson!"

She raised an eyebrow at him as she gave in and took a sip of beer, wondering if he was referring to more than just Lexie's reaction when he offered her another drink.

"Why are you with her anyway?"

"Excuse me?" he looked a little shocked at her question.

"Why are you with her?" she repeated a little slower this time.

"She alway's staring at Dr. Sloan. It's obvious she's still in love with him. And I know you know because I've seen you watching her staring at him"

"She chose me" he told her simply but she saw the doubt in his eyes as he said it.

"She looks at him. Like really looks at him Jackson. All the time"

"Not anymore she doesn't" he protested feebly.

"All the freaking time!"

"You know what?" he responded wanting to change the topic of conversation so he wouldn't have to admit that he knew his girlfriend was settling with him.

"What?"

"You're mean when you've had a drink!" He told her angrily, his inebriation effecting him more than a little.

"Sober you're all timid and shy, wouldn't say boo to a goose April Kepner and then once you've had a drink you're...you're...Cristina Yang!"

She gasped loudly in offence.

"I am nothing like Cristina Yang!"

"You totally are!"

"I am not! I'm not trying to be mean Jackson, I'm just telling it like it is"

"Well then that makes you Alex Karev!" he laughed and chugged down another gulp of beer.

She yanked the beer bottle from his hand and slammed it forcefully down on the counter next to her own.

"I'm not Cristina or Alex, Jackson. I'm just me. Plain little April Kepner who I realise most people don't like but I thought you did. I thought we were friends. And friends care about each other and say something when one of them is in a relationship that isn't good for them"

"We are friends" he softened a little "but Lexie -"

"Lexie is in love with Mark Sloan!" she interrupted in frustration.

"She's in love with him and she stares at him like she's yearning for him and I know I don't have any experience whatsoever when it comes to this type of stuff but the way I see it is that when you love someone like that in the end you're always going to chose them in the end!"

"You're right you know nothing about this stuff!"

"I'm a virgin not stupid!" she bit back a little too angrily.

"She chose me!"

"And you deserve better" she told him softly in barely a whisper.

"You deserve someone who loves you and only you. Not someone who can't commit to a proper grown up relationship because there's a baby involved so she settles for someone she doesn't really love. You deserve better Jackson"

He stared back at her blankly. He knew she was right so he couldn't argue but he wasn't sure he could admit it either.

She'd said her piece however and didn't need him to answer. She'd just felt like it had to be said.

"Goodnight Jackson" she told him softly before turning and making her way towards the stairs.

She only got half way before his hand clasped around her wrist and pulled her back towards him.

"You're right" he admitted quietly and before she knew what was happening his soft lips were on hers, his hands tangled in her hair, as he kissed her hungrily.

At first she froze not knowing how to react. This was Jackson and he was _kissing_ her. But it was soft and sweet and gentle and she was filled with an overwhelming desire to return his kiss.

So she did.

Eager and impulsive.

He kissed her for what felt like forever, his fingertips tracing a pattern over her cheekbones before he slowly moved them towards the staircase, their lips still pressed lustfully together, their hands roaming freely over bodies aching with alcohol fuelled desire. His shirt was lost half way up the staircase, her dress tugged impatiently over her head as they fell through the half open door of her bedroom. Hungry, eager, yearning. Their limbs entwined as he lowered her onto the neatly made bed.

"Jackson" his name on her lips began as a protest as for a brief second she realised what she was about to do.

But he silenced her with another passionate kiss and her protest was over before it had even begun. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Arizona yawned as she flicked off the trashy made for TV movie she was only half watching and pulled herself up off the sofa, stifling a yawn as she did so. It had been a long day and she missed Callie. She hated it when one of them was on the night shift. The bed seemed so big and empty without Callie there to snuggle up to.

She picked up her Blackberry from the coffee table and started to punch in a text reminding her wife of just how much she loved her but before she had finished even the first sentence the familiar click of a key turning in the lock was followed by Callie walking slowly into the apartment her dark hair, now long again just how Arizona liked it best, swaying softly as she walked.

"You're home!" Arizona's welcoming smile could have lit up the entire apartment block and Callie instantly felt comforted.

"You're meant to be working until the morning, what -" she paused as Lexie Grey quietly followed Callie into the apartment and Callie shut the door softly behind them.

"Happened?" she finished, watching them inquisitively.

Lexie looked different.

_Broken._

"I said Lexie could stay here tonight, that's okay with you right?" Callie responded giving her wife a look that clearly said "It is okay with you and I'll explain later".

"Sure, of course" Arizona replied knowing the look well.

She smiled softly at Lexie sensing that something wasn't right and that they needed to be sensitive around her.

"The bed in the spare room is all made up and I can get you some pjs or a t-shirt or something to sleep in"

"Do you mind if I take a shower?" Lexie asked staring blankly ahead as though she didn't really see Arizona or hear what she was saying.

"Of course not, there are fresh towels in there. Just yell if you need anything"

"Thanks" Lexie's void expression still didn't change as she walked over to the bathroom for what would be shower number 3 in as many hours.

They both watched her as she crossed the room almost as though she was in slow motion, their eyes following her as she put one foot in front of the other but looked like she had no direction or purpose.

"What happened?" Arizona turned to Callie as soon as the bathroom door clicked shut and the harsh sound of the bolt being pushed into place met their ears.

"Has this got something to do with Mark?"

"No" Callie shook her head sadly.

"I wish it was something as simple as that. Then we could just get him over here and bang both of their heads together"

"Then what?"

Callie lowered her voice, not wanting to keep anything from Arizona but not sure how Lexie would feel about her telling her either.

"She was attacked tonight"

"Attacked?" a hint of confusion flashed across her pretty features.

"But she doesn't look hurt?"

"No" Callie shook her head and tried to clarify without having to vocalise the awful ordeal Lexie had gone through just a few hours earlier.

_"Attacked"_

"Oh" the penny dropped with Arizona instantly.

"Oh god" she gasped raising a slender hand to cover her mouth which had fallen slightly open in disbelief.

"Who? Where? At work? Does you know who did it?"

"At work in the supply closet. She was just sat on the floor when we found her, curled up in the corner staring blankly into space like she was empty, like he'd taken Lexie and all that was left was a shell" Callie stumbled over the words a little, clearly shaken by the night's events.

"We?" Arizona questioned softly as she moved closer and stroked her hand over Callie's lower back in tender circles.

"Me and Bailey, we both headed in their at the same time and there she was with her knees tucked against her chest and her scrubs all ripped"

"Has she spoken to the Police?"

"We managed to get her into an exam room but she didn't say anything for what like forever" Callie ignored the question needing to tell things in her own way.

"She just stared at us, we could have been strangers to her the way she just looked through us and when we talked to her their was no response at all. She has barely said more than a few sentences since we found her"

"I thought work was safer since the shooting" Arizona sighed softly.

"I thought all that security would make a difference"

"He was a patient" Callie explained.

"A patient?"

"Yeah. We kept talking to her and eventually she answered" Callie told her remembering how Lexie had looked at her like she'd only just walked into the room despite the fact that she'd been there for almost an hour before a word passed the younger girl's lips.

"I'm a tease" Callie whispered sadly.

"That's was the first thing she said, _I'm a tease_. He attacked her and he made her think it was her all her fault"

"Who was it Callie? Have they arrested him?"

"His name is Adam Hart? I don't remember him but apparently he was admitted a few months back and he took a shine to Lexie, asked for her number, flirted, you know the usual banter we all get from time to time. She didn't take it seriously, why would she? None of us ever do. But he did and he had a follow up check today, turns out he didn't leave afterwards. Instead he tracked down Lexie, told her that she'd lead him on and then he attacked her"

Arizona wrapped her arms around Callie and pressed a kiss to her cheek, knowing she needed comfort right now.

"She didn't want us to call the Police" Callie continued, resting her head on Arizona's shoulder.

"She has to go to the Police, what if he does this to someone else?"

"Bailey called them anyway" Callie explained and Arizona visibly relaxed.

"She talked to them eventually. The officer they sent was really great with her and we did an exam so they have that as evidence" Callie bit her lip as she remembered.

"She cried the whole way through. Not sobbing or anything like that. She was really still and silent but there were tears streaming down her face" she winced remembering how her tears had fallen like torrential rain dripping down cold glass as Bailey had held onto her hand trying to soothe her even though they all knew nothing could manage that.

"Why did you bring her back here?" Arizona asked hesitantly not wanting to seem as though she didn't care.

"Not that I mind, of course I don't, not at all. But wouldn't she be better with someone she's close to? Jackson or Meredith?...Mark even?"

"She wouldn't let us tell anyone, she made us swear that we wouldn't. But then she wouldn't go home either, he said he'd been watching her so she doesn't feel safe in case he knows where she lives and he comes after her again. She wanted to go back to work, like nothing had happened. But she was in no state to do that so all I could think of was to bring her here. So I got someone to cover my shift and here we are"

"She can stay as long as she needs to" Arizona told her, stroking her hair softly as they both stared at the bathroom door, the sound of shower water pounding onto the cold bathroom tiles filling their temporary silence.

"But we should try and get her to talk to someone. She shouldn't be dealing with this alone"

"She is alone though" Callie sighed softly.

"Not one of us will ever know what she's been through, not really"

"No, no we won't" Arizona agreed with a slight shake of her head.

"But just because someone can't understand it doesn't mean they won't be able to help her deal with it. And we're not the people to do that. That's probably why she agreed to come here. Because we're not close to her, so we won't push her to deal with it"

"It's only just happened Arizona, she's a mess, she's in shock"

"I know and she can stay as long as she needs to but eventually she's going to need to tell other people"

"We need to give her time I guess. It's up to her to tell people, we just have to be there for her best we can"

"And we will be" Arizona squeezed her softly, before tagging a question onto the end of her sentence.

"If something like this happened to you, you'd tell me right?"

"I don't know" she replied honestly.

"I can't really say how I'd react, but I'd like to think that I'd be able to tell you"

Arizona smiled softly.

"I'd like to think you would too"

* * *

><p>April cringed as she walked into the supply closet only to find Jackson already there, one hand full of supplies he'd already collected as he rooted around for the rest of what he needed.<p>

For a brief second she contemplated turning around and rushing off in any direction but his but he'd already spotted her and she knew that she would just look silly if she did.

"Erm...hi..." she mumbled avoiding any contact with his piercing blue eyes.

She'd felt nothing but relief when she'd woken up and he had no longer been next to her, having already left for work, but then relief had intermingled with embarrassment and a slight tinge of anger at being used. And now she just felt sick with guilt. He had a girlfriend. A girlfriend who was her friend and housemate. And she'd slept with him.

"Hi" he responded quietly watching her for signs of how she might feel about the previous night. He'd slipped out early without talking to her first because he felt so guilty. He'd never cheated on anyone before and he was happy with Lexie. He didn't know why he'd done it. He'd expected to cross paths with her as she finished the night shift and he started on the early but he hadn't and he was grateful.

"Hi" she repeated again.

"You just said that" he smiled nervously as he watched her.

"I know" she blushed becoming flustered.

"It's just...about last night...it was...it was..."

"Amazing?" he filled in the gap not even realising what he was about to say until the word had already slipped over his lips.

"A mistake!" she exclaimed in a slightly too loud whisper.

"A big mistake! We were both drunk and I said things I shouldn't have...did things I shouldn't have and I -" she suddenly stopped short as though what he had said had only just registered with her.

"Amazing?" she blushed a bright shade of crimson but a tiny smile creeping over her pale pink lips gave away her delight.

"Did you just say I was amazing? Because you know that I hadn't...that it was my...that I was a..."

He couldn't help but grin as he watched her process the information. He felt guilty, he did. But as he looked at April, getting all het up as tried to deal with what had happened between them he had to admit that it had been amazing and he really wasn't all that sorry.

She suddenly shook her head violently, her soft hair splaying out around her as she did so.

"NO!" she told him forcefully

"It wasn't amazing, it was wrong! Lexie is your girlfriend and my friend and our housemate and we have to agree never to talk about it again"

"Okay" he nodded slowly.

"If that's what you want then we won't talk about it"

"It is what I want" she nodded telling herself it was the right thing but really not certain that it was what she wanted at all. He'd said that being with her was amazing and she'd waited a long time for amazing.

She'd always thought that her first time would end up being awkward and disappointing, especially after waiting for so long and formulating years worth of unrealistic expectations based on rom coms and trashy romance novels. But he'd been so gentle and taken things slowly and he'd made her feel like the most desirable woman in the world.

It had been amazing.

Except for the bit about him having a girlfriend.

"It's what we should both want" she told him forcefully trying to push all thoughts of amazingness from her mind and concentrate instead on the right thing to do.

"If we don't talk about it no one but us will ever know it happened. _Lexie_ will never know"

"Okay" he agreed once again feeling a tinge of disappointment.

He was experienced but with April it had been different. He didn't know what it was but it was new and exciting and he had to admit to himself that he'd do it again given half the chance.

"Good" she told him grabbing the supplies she needed quickly and turning to exit the closet.

"April?" he called her name softly and she turned around to look at him.

"Yes, Jackson?" she looked at him expectantly.

"Just because we're not talking about it doesn't mean I won't be thinking about it" he smiled slightly smugly as he let himself remember exactly what she didn't want to talk about and then, before she could stop him, he placed the most gentle of kisses on her soft lips.

"No!" she protested pulling away and shaking a finger at him.

"Okay, okay, I get it. No talking, no kissing"

"Exactly!" she exclaimed and stormed out of the closet.

He watched her go, appreciating the sway of her hips as she did, and couldn't help but smile to himself.

* * *

><p>He knocked with three quick raps of his knuckles against their door but he let himself in without waiting for an answer.<p>

"Where's my gorgeous girl? he asked as he found Callie making up a bottle for their daughter.

"Arizona's giving her a bath" Callie looked alarmed that he was there.

"What are you doing here? It's not your morning"

"I didn't think that was a rigid rule, I didn't think you'd mind me coming over to sneak a cuddle in" he looked hurt that he clearly wasn't welcome and Callie instantly felt guilty.

"No, of course I don't mind. It's just...well..."

"Just what Cal?" he questioned just as the door to the spare bedroom creaked open.

"Thanks for letting me stay" Lexie told Callie as she exited the room with the bed sheets folded neatly and clutched close to her chest.

"I stripped the bed for you, I'll just get out of your way no-" Lexie stopped mid sentence as her gaze fell on Mark.

"Lexie?" he glanced from her to Callie and then back to her again in confusion.

"I err..." she stumbled not knowing what to say, not wanting him to know. Not wanting anyone to know.

"I should go!" she announced not knowing what else to do and dropped the sheets onto the sofa before heading for the door.

"Lexie, wait! Where are you going? Home?" Callie asked hurriedly, not wanting her to leave if she was going to do something stupid or something she couldn't handle right now.

"Work, I have time to make up from last night" Lexie responded as she reached the door and opened it.

Mark watched in confusion, instantly knowing that something wasn't right.

Lexie wasn't her usual self. She was hurting, he could see it in her eyes and an overwhelming urge to pull her into his arms and comfort her rushed though him. But he fought it, he knew she wouldn't thank him.

"What? Wait!" Callie hurried to the door and blocked Lexie's exit.

"That's not a good idea!"

"I have to go, please just let me go" Lexie pleaded, desperation in her eyes as she tried to push past Callie.

"You can stay here as long as you like" Callie tried to persuade her to stay but Lexie wasn't listening and was still pushing, eventually forcing her way past and rushing towards the lift

She was grateful to find it had just arrived on their floor and jumped in straight away, disappearing behind the cold metal doors.

Callie sighed as she did and closed the door.

"What was all that about?" Mark questioned, his voice full of concern for the woman he loved.

"I can't tell you, I'm sorry"

"Callie" his voice was stern and demanding.

"I promised her I wouldn't tell anyone"

"She stayed here last night? Why would she do that? What happened to her?" he questioned, racking his brain to try and work out what this was all about.

"Is it Avery? Has he been hurting her? Is that why you didn't want her to go home? I'll kill him!" he exclaimed, his fists clenching in anger.

"No! That's not it at all! I never said she shouldn't go home I said work was a bad idea. Jackson hasn't done anything so don't lay a finger on him!"

"Then what?"

"I can't tell you, I'm sorry" she shook her head knowing that he was only asking because he loved Lexie and couldn't bear to see her hurting.

"Callie, this is Lexie we're talking about!"

"I'm well aware of that Mark but -"

"No buts!" he interrupted harshly.

"This is Lexie! I love her, you know I love her and she's clearly hurting and you know why"

"I know that you love her but I also know that she told you to leave her alone and she begged me not to tell anyone what I know and when she saw you she panicked and ran straight out of here"

"I just want to make sure she's okay Cal" he told her sadly.

"I know you do but you let her go remember? Because that was what she wanted" she stroked his arm softly.

"Let her go Mark, let her go"

****


End file.
